Jamie Lynch's Cheltenham Preview: Bringing Trials Day to trial

Nicky Henderson is one of the usual suspects when it comes to the Triumph Hurdle

Timeform's Chief Correspondent Jamie Lynch dusts off his silk gown and wig for his different take on trials day...

Richard Haynes sounds like a civil servant or a recruitment consultant, whatever exactly they are, but add in the nickname 'Racehorse' and the person suddenly takes on new life, transformed from an anybody to a somebody, distinct and charismatic, as in legendary American lawyer Richard 'Racehorse' Haynes.  

Despite the byname, Haynes has no direct links to racing - he was christened 'Racehorse' by his high school football coach for always darting for the line rather than down the field - but  his destiny was in the world of law rather than sport, as a trial lawyer, where his strike-rate was as remarkable as his courtroom theatrics.

Of the 40 who faced capital punishment that he defended, not one was sentenced to death, and he won 34 of the 36 'Smith & Wesson Divorce' cases of wives killing their husbands - 'And I would have won the other two if my clients hadn't kept reloading their gun and firing.'

Amongst his many dramatic and melodramatic stunts, designed to dazzle jurors and prove points, he once shocked himself with a cattle prod, deliberately stepped on the foot of a witness to provoke the desired angry reaction, and, most notoriously, after the prosecutor had refused to call a key witness because he knew 'Racehorse' would tear him apart, a furious Haynes nevertheless conducted his cross-examination to an empty chair.

'Racehorse's' trials are different to the racehorses' trials at Cheltenham this weekend, in the balance after the trials of the weather. Those two types of trial - legal and sporting - aren't so far apart when you think about it, both expressly seeking to determine something in a practical terms; qualification on the racetrack and justice in the courtroom. If Cheltenham had been postponed indefinitely, maybe some of the Festival questions, due to be answered on the course by arbitration, could have been resolved by the court of arbitration. Imagine that...

Let's get this out of the way first: the racing-related judges who'll be presiding over the cases are Kim Bail-ey (or Bailiff, whichever you prefer) and Affidavit Pipe - be thankful it's those two rather than Remand AnderSub-poena and DefendAnt-hony Knott-Guilty.

The cases, or in this instances chases, of Victor Chandler and Argento were thrown out before they got to court on the grounds that Sprinter Sacre has no case to answer and the principal witness in the Argento, Bobs Worth, is unavailable at present.  

There are, however, other races and cases to examine, with greater Festival ramifications, notably the Finesse and Classic Hurdles.
 
In the matter of the Finesse, Rolling Star is charged with being a worthwhile bet for the Triumph Hurdle. The defence counsel is led by Jamie Lynch QC, from the Lionel Hutz law school, and you are the jury.

The defence calls Mademoiselle Tatiana Puitg.

'Mademoiselle Puitg, how do you pronounce your surname?'
'Avec difficulte.'
'You train racehorses in France, don't you? In fact, you used to train Rolling Star. Would you say that you are a good trainer?'
'Oui.'
'I put it to you, Mademoiselle Puitg, (stepping on her foot) that you are just an ordinary trainer, and that a horse such as Rolling Star, who won for you at Auteuil, would and will show considerable improvement for an established top trainer in Britain.'
'Merde.'
'Does the name Wonderful Charm mean anything to you?'
(A flash of anger betrays Puitg's eyes, but she remains silent, until pressed by Judge Affidavit Pipe to answer the question...)
'Peut-etre.'
(Lynch, chuckling and enjoying himself now, literally holding court) 'Maybe! Maybe indeed, Mademoiselle Puitg. And maybe you saw that Wonderful Charm, having left you to join Paul Nicholls, improved with a bang to win the Grade 2 Persian War Hurdle at Chepstow very easily. And maybe you've read how highly Nicholls rates the Festival-bound Wonderful Charm. And maybe you think, or maybe you KNOW, that Rolling Star will likewise flourish now he's with Nicky Henderson.'
'Mais Claude Charlet...'
'Enough now, Mademoiselle. You've said enough, we've heard enough. That's all, Your Honour.'

Closing argument: This year, even more than most years, it's an open Triumph Hurdle, with nothing having so far constructed a compelling case and the level of the leading juveniles generally a notch below what they usually are at this stage of the season, which paves the way for an upstart, or an arriviste as the French would say. Rolling Star could be that arriviste. Let's look at the evidence. The ante-post money for him in recent weeks suggests he's the main Triumph hope for the all-conquering Nicky Henderson, who really looks to have something to work with here, having heard the testimony from Mademoiselle Puitg, and reviewing the video evidence of his smooth win at Auteuil on his one and only hurdling start. Back Rolling Star now at 12.011/1 for the Triumph and you could be sitting particularly pretty by 12:16 on Saturday.
  
In the matter of the Classic Hurdle, The New One is charged with being a belting bet for the Neptune at the Festival in March. Jamie Lynch QC, fresh from lording it over an innocent young woman for whom English is a second language, reprises his role of 'Racehorse' Haynes. 
The defence calls Nigel Twiston-Davies. 
'Mr Twiston-Davies...'
'Nige. Just call me Nige, even my son does.'
'Okay, Nige, do you think The New One is the best you've ever trained?'
'Yes.'
'The defence rests, Your Honour.'

Closing argument: Twiston-Davies' stated belief that The New One is potentially the best he's trained is, while significant, clearly circumstantial, but that's not what our case is built on anyway, as there's substantial evidence aplenty, through his record and form. The crucial testimony comes from My Tent Or Yours, whom he beat in the Grade 2 bumper at Aintree, and since then The New One has looked the real deal over hurdles, three starts unbeaten and getting better all the time, his Timeform rating making him already one of the season's top novices. Exhibit D will be the Classic Hurdle on Saturday, which, if it has the impact on the judge and jury I suspect it will, means it's case very nearly closed for The New One for the Festival. The New One is to hurdling what 'Racehorse' Haynes is to lawyers: damn near unbeatable.